When Kindness Gets Complicated: What to Do If Your Caregiver Asks for Money

June 12, 2025 | Family Caregiver Support

It starts innocently enough. A caregiver you trust asks for a small loan—just until Friday. You want to help, but something doesn’t feel right.

If you’ve hired a caregiver privately, you’re not just managing care—you’re managing boundaries. And when it comes to lending money, our advice is simple:

Don’t do it.

Here’s why:
• It changes the relationship from employer to lender.
• It can create dependency and lead to more asks.
• It risks confusion, especially if your loved one has memory loss.
• It can cause tension between family members—or even legal issues.

So what should you do instead?

✅ Say no kindly and firmly: “We have a no-loan policy.”
✅ Offer support by pointing to local resources.
✅ Show appreciation with a modest gift or a documented bonus.

Better yet, set expectations from the start with a written caregiver agreement that includes:
• Hourly rate and schedule
• PTO and payment terms
• A clear no-loans policy

Need help setting boundaries and managing payroll?

At Holistic HomeCare Associates, we help families find amazing caregivers to hire privately—with the right protections in place. From turnkey payroll and scheduling support to written agreements and backup coverage, we make sure that when our clients hire, it’s done legally, ethically, and with peace of mind.

Blog

When Kindness Gets Complicated: What to Do If Your Caregiver Asks for Money